Why Pasargad’s Reza Ataei is good for the UFL

Why Pasargad’s Reza Ataei is good for the UFL

by rick olivares

Sorry, guys. I’m loving what Reza Ataei is bringing to the UFL. He’s a good goalkeeper and a bad or good actor/soldier depending on which side you root for.

The man is oozing with self-confidence and I can appreciate that. The falling down as if suddenly shot by a sniper? His running out to defend teammates? His hanging on the crossbar and swinging from it? Man, I love it. This is what exactly the league needs – characters. We can’t all have pretty boys running around. That reads – B O R I N G.

When I see Reza Ataei do all of that he’s like Kaya’s Saba Garmaroudi on amphetamines. Bwahahaha! He's not a villain but more of an anti-hero. One they will not put on any Azkals-laden television plug. But he sure does spice up the match. Even his goal celebration is fantastic unlike those who attempt to dance but who have two left feet.

After Angelo Marasigan booted in that goal all the way from Vito Cruz, Ataei rushed to the middle of the pitch then knelt. He signaled to Marasigan to place his “golden” boot atop his knee then shined it in one of the best goal celebrations we’ve seen in the league.

For all his antics, he is man enough to accept his mistakes on the pitch. During the recent PFF Smart National Club Championship semifinals match with Green Archers United, Ataei saved a shot from Tommy Escoltero, one of three he successfully parried away. Ataei thought it was all over and he ran to the sidelines taking off his jersey. A no-no since to his and his teammates’ horror, the shooutout wasn’t over. He was sent off along with another teammate effectively dooming their finals stint. He was so disconsolate afterwards.

In the UFL opener last Tuesday, Reza held on to the nets for a few seconds looking absolutely devastated after Global’s Ben Starosta headed in the insurance goal that effectively handed them the three full points.  

I hear the ball boys and some officials wish that someone would score a goal on him “para manahimik na siya”. Sure why not? After all, that is the objective of the game – to score as many goals as possible for the win.

Is he the only ham actor in the league? There’s former Global goalie Sylvain Etoundi who was Ataei before Atei came to the UFL. Etoundi would routinely fall to the pitch even with no players around him. He would feign injury or being the recipient of some elbow. He would drop to the pitch as if shot by a sniper (where have I heard that before?).

When Angel Guirado used to get knocked down, he’d roll over as if he were thrown out of a car window after a high-speed five-car smash up. Global's Roland Sadia also pulled the same stunts in last year’s UFL Cup.

There are lots of other players falling at the slightest bit of contact and sometimes they fool the refs and the fans but most of the time they don’t.

It’s isn’t only the acting. There are other characters.

There’s that Korean player from General Trias International who dyes his hair blonde ala Mark Caguioa.

There's a player who wears women's underwear because it's more comfortable for him (that's what he says).

There’s former Nomads head coach Mick Denison who once (in)famously coached a match in flip-flops.

There’s a ref who is so card happy that he hands them out as if they were going out of style (and thus earns the ire of everyone in the league).

I love it when Global head coach Brian Reid yells, “Hey, you!” When he does that I think of Suggs of British ska band Madness doing the opening line of “One Step Beyond.” When I asked the Global players if they understood what he tries to tell them during a game, the unanimous answer was – 20% of it. In fact the other day, he came on the touchline looking snazzy in a Global jacket. When it got a little too humid and so he put on a small football players vest that was absurdly too small for him. And it prompted one official to remark that “he looks like Winnie the Pooh”. But I love Reid with his deep Scottish brogue booming out instructions, reminders, and words of anger. “Hey, you!” I love it.

If you say that Reza’s antics have no place in the UFL then I disagree. What the UFL does not need are teams that play dirty. Now don’t be an idiot and feign ignorance.

But why stop there. The game is populated by all-universe whiners, coaches who will bust a blood vessel sometime in the near future, players who threaten referees with harm, cheap shot artists and footballers with a bad bone in their body. If a card or two were given to all these rogues then we wouldn’t have enough players to play a game.

The referees, totally imperfect as they are, well, you’ll just have to trust them to caution the erring players. And Ataei will be judged by them for his antics. In the meantime, he’s never really hurt anybody but amp up a match’s intensity level.

If he’s the Calvin Abueva of the UFL then I am fine with it. I don’t know about you guys but I am looking forward to the next Pasargad match not just because of their capacity for good football but also because of Reza Ataei’s showmanship (or lack of depending on which side of the pitch you are).

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