Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bleachers' Brew #170 What the!

What the!
by rick olivares

Do people really mean what they say? Say what they mean? Or are trying to say something else?

It sounds all so confusing!

Since I am in the midst of a cappuccino withdrawal, allow me to try and make sense of what it is these people really want to say.

The Reverend Jesse Jackson
What he said: “I want to make an issue about collusion between NFL owners about keeping Michael Vick of a team roster. “I want teams to explain why they have a quarterback who has less skills but is playing or at least is in the taxi squad while a guy with more skills can’t get into training camp?”

What he really means: “It’s about race. It’s injustice to the black man.”

My take: Ah, Reverend. What about the dogs that Michael Vick exterminated and tortured? With regards to the NFL owners, I think it’s called prerogative. And it definitely isn’t about race. Not everyone in every position is deserving of it. Like some of those jokers they use for college basketball telecasts. Even in Philippine basketball some don’t even know the difference between shots missing badly and rimming out. And why it raises my eyebrow when someone says that a team’s game is on when they play defense. Ahem… I am getting out of hand. Shut the hell up, Reverend!

Boston Red Sox Manager Terry Francona
What he said:
After his Red Sox were pounded by the New York Yankees at their new stadium for a 13-4 loss (that was followed up by a 2-0 and 5-0 shellacking), Francona gave their arch-rivals props and said that they were “an unforgiving lineup in an unforgiving park.”

What he meant: “It’s John Smoltz’ fault. It’s Junichi Tazawa’s fault. Heck, it’s Clay Buchholz’ fault!” It’s Big Papi’s fault for taking steroids. Even Manny Ramirez – he’s been gone for about two years but he still haunts us!”

My take: Since Daisuke Matsuzaka and Tim Wakefield became a mess and Brad Penny who started well but now cannot hit the side of a barn even if it were a foot away from him, Boston, which used to have the pitching staff that was the envy of Major League Baseball, is struggling. Then David Ortiz and (former player) Manny Ramirez were named in a report where they used steroids and this has caused much criticism and some dismay in the Red Sox Nation that their World Series victories were somehow tainted. So now they are struggling but this is baseball, one swing of the bat can change their fortunes and I say they’ll be neck and neck with New York once more for the American League East title if not a trip to the Fall Classic.

By the same token, it wasn’t too long ago that the Yankees weren’t playing well and critics pronounced their season dead. So, duh!

Powerade RP Head Coach Yeng Guiao
What he said:
Unprintable here and could not be repeated by the broadcast panel during the Philippines vs. Korea match in the FIBA Asia Men’s Championship in Tianjin, China.

What he meant: C’mon, refs! That was a terrible call! Those calls are killing us. Just because we did not invent Samsung which is the world’s top electronics brand that doesn’t mean Filipinos can’t compete. Jeez, that player just traveled. That guy pushed Arwind Santos out of bounds but we didn’t get the call! Kerby Raymundo did not push that guy during a rebound play – that was acting!

My take: I totally agree with the coach that compared to the officiating in international competition, NABRO are Class B zebras. Ah, come to think. I take it back. NABRO still sucks as to do those buffoons in the UAAP. But, Coach. Ixnay on the cussing on live television. It’s kind of unbecoming of a national coach. And it doesn’t make for a good soundbyte. Thanks God that FIBA does not wire coaches like they do in the NBA. Leave that to the fans and us! We’ll take the cudgels for you. Hahahaha! Go RP!

Did you hear Powerade RP Coach Yeng Guiao cussing out loud during the television broadcast of the Philippines’ match versus Korea? I had a laugh but I sort of expect that from the fans but not the coach. Not to rain on our parade but we have no respect for international basketball. We think we can march in and play the PBA style of game when that is clearly not the case.


Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite (or Kaka for short)
What he said:
Last year, Kaka dealt with his own version of a seven-day temptation in the desert where he eventually resisted the temptations of Abu Dhabi and Manchester City (to the tune of £100 million).

He eventually chose his club at the time, AC Milan, over cash. "I listened to my heart," said the Brazilian midfielder of his so-called love affair with the Italian club that was a dream for him as a child. “I want to grow old with Milan.”

Whenever Kaka scores a goal he pulls up his jersey to reveal a message scribbled on his undershirt, “I belong to Jesus.”

What he meant: After accepting a £68.5 million transfer fee to join the second edition of Galacticos at Real Madrid (along with Cristiano Ronaldo, Karim Benzema, Xabi Alonso, and Raul Albiol), maybe Kaka should write on his undershirt, “I belong to the highest bidder.”

Did he listen to his heart this time around? I imagine Kaka would say, “I listened to Fiorentino Perez (Real Madrid’s overspending President who makes the New York Yankees’ George Steinbrenner look like a scrooge by comparison).”
“I want to grow old… and be filthy rich.”

My take: Screw team loyalty. It’s all about the money! Show me the money! Where is my ambassador of kwan?

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