The 3rd Annual Brewskies
by rick olivares
At the end of every year, we at the Bleachers hand out the Brewskie Awards to people, athletes, and teams that have made the world of sports even more interesting if not controversial.
Permanent Red Card (also recipient of Amateur Filmmaker of the Year Award)
Dennis Balore for taking videos using his camera phone of female volleyball players inside their locker room.
Chernobyl Award
The New England Patriots for the worst possible meltdown at the worst possible time in Super Bowl XLII.
National Pride Award
The English Football Association for hiring Italian coach Fabio Capello to oversee their national team’s climb back to respectability and to the English Premiere League for showing to the world that English players are second class citizens in their league.
Tenement Prophet Award (as presented by Simon & Garfunkel)
New York Giants’ wide receiver Plaxico Burress for verbalizing his team’s belief that they could upend the hitherto undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl.
Home Wrecker Award
Brett Favre for being wishy-washy about playing for the Green Bay Packers, retiring, then months after the team has moved on decides to comeback and throws everyone into a fit before suiting up for the New York Jets.
Runner-up. The Basketball Association of the Philippines. What part of “you are no longer the recognized cage body of the country” do you not understand?
Don Quixote Award
The proposed UAAP-NCAA merger by the SBP. A poorly handled affair if there was ever one.
The Tim Donaghy Integrity Award
NABRO. More popular than Chris Tiu (not). It would be a miracle if these guys officiate Season 72 of the UAAP.
The Easiest Yet Most Painful Buck I’ve Made Award
David Diaz. Outboxed. Outfought. Out of Manny’s league. But he’s got several cool millions and can tell his kids, “Yeah, I fought the Pacman and stood toe-to-toe with him.”
Runner-up. Oscar De La Hoya. He got his Dream Payday Match. Am I so glad Manny Pacquiao punched his clock.
The X-Files Award
Far Eastern University’s Mac Baracael. The truth is somewhere out there.
The Sweet Sixteen Award
The Chinese gymnasts. Do you honestly think that these kids will not tell the truth? You mean it’s possible?
Most Outstanding Citizen of Boston Award
Manny Ramirez. After being a vital part of two Boston Red Sox World Series Champion teams and running around the outfield after being granted American citizenship, Ramirez asked to be traded (he went to the LA Dodgers), took several shots at the Bosox and campaigned to be traded to the New York Yankees if only to spite his former team.
Best Soap Opera Drama for a Sports Team Award
New York Knicks. Reality TV hasn’t got anything on this dysfunctional and very disappointing franchise. Am so glad I am not a Knicks fan. And all my respect for Donnie Walsh and Mike D’Antoni went out the door after they pulled a Steph Marbury on Steph Marbury.
The Talk is Cheap Award
Lauren Jackson of the Opals. Before facing Team USA in the Gold Medal Match of Women’s Olympic Basketball, Jackson threw down the gauntlet about bodies falling on the floor and all out war. Instead, she fouled out albeit after scattering 20 points in a blowout win by the Americans. Then after nemesis Lisa Leslie wore all four of her gold medals (three were won against Australia) during the awards ceremony, Jackson cried foul and said Leslie was showing off.
The Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore Award
Shaquille O’Neal. What bigger turncoat is there than this seven-foot Jeckyl and Hyde? When he was with the Orlando Magic, he dissed Penny Hardaway and said he was the one who kept him from resigned with his first NBA team. While with the Los Angeles Lakers, he feuded with Kobe Bryant and also blamed him for the dissolution of the purple and gold dynasty. When he jumped shipped to Miami, he declared Pat Riley the greatest coach ever (more than Phil Jackson). But early this year, he heavily criticized the gelled one and left for Phoenix where everyone is waiting for him to talk smack behind Amare Stoudemire and Terry Porter’s back.
Certificate of Job Security
The Manager’s position at Real Madrid. Los Blancos won two titles in the last two years and each was with a different gaffer. Last year they won with Bernd Schuster and the previous campaign it was with Fabio Capello. And before that there was Carlos Quieroz, Guus Hiddink, and Jupp Heynckes who all spent a year of duty at the Bernabeu.
They should give the manager’s position to current team chairman Ramon Calderon so after the end of the campaign he can get fired too!
Strike Two Award
Before she retired from tennis the first time around, Martina Hingis was booed off the Roland Garros clay courts after playing long-time crowd favorite Steffi Graf. After a much-ballyhooed return to the game, the Swiss Miss’ career came to another shocking end after pre-tournament test showed marijuana in her urine. Now here’s hoping you learned from Michael Jordan’s third and last return to the game (we can forgive Brett Favre for now).
The Denial King Award
Franz Pumaren. He didn’t know anything about his two players who were casualties of the PEP Test Scandal and he denied that his team was never informed that it was their turn to accept their runners-up trophy.
For the past Brewskies winners, check out these links:
http://bleachersbrew.blogspot.com/2007/12/bleachers-brew-85-2nd-annual-brewskies.html
http://bleachersbrew.blogspot.com/2006/12/brewskies.html
Permanent Red Card (also recipient of Amateur Filmmaker of the Year Award)
Dennis Balore for taking videos using his camera phone of female volleyball players inside their locker room.
Chernobyl Award
The New England Patriots for the worst possible meltdown at the worst possible time in Super Bowl XLII.
National Pride Award
The English Football Association for hiring Italian coach Fabio Capello to oversee their national team’s climb back to respectability and to the English Premiere League for showing to the world that English players are second class citizens in their league.
Tenement Prophet Award (as presented by Simon & Garfunkel)
New York Giants’ wide receiver Plaxico Burress for verbalizing his team’s belief that they could upend the hitherto undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl.
Home Wrecker Award
Brett Favre for being wishy-washy about playing for the Green Bay Packers, retiring, then months after the team has moved on decides to comeback and throws everyone into a fit before suiting up for the New York Jets.
Runner-up. The Basketball Association of the Philippines. What part of “you are no longer the recognized cage body of the country” do you not understand?
Don Quixote Award
The proposed UAAP-NCAA merger by the SBP. A poorly handled affair if there was ever one.
The Tim Donaghy Integrity Award
NABRO. More popular than Chris Tiu (not). It would be a miracle if these guys officiate Season 72 of the UAAP.
The Easiest Yet Most Painful Buck I’ve Made Award
David Diaz. Outboxed. Outfought. Out of Manny’s league. But he’s got several cool millions and can tell his kids, “Yeah, I fought the Pacman and stood toe-to-toe with him.”
Runner-up. Oscar De La Hoya. He got his Dream Payday Match. Am I so glad Manny Pacquiao punched his clock.
The X-Files Award
Far Eastern University’s Mac Baracael. The truth is somewhere out there.
The Sweet Sixteen Award
The Chinese gymnasts. Do you honestly think that these kids will not tell the truth? You mean it’s possible?
Most Outstanding Citizen of Boston Award
Manny Ramirez. After being a vital part of two Boston Red Sox World Series Champion teams and running around the outfield after being granted American citizenship, Ramirez asked to be traded (he went to the LA Dodgers), took several shots at the Bosox and campaigned to be traded to the New York Yankees if only to spite his former team.
Best Soap Opera Drama for a Sports Team Award
New York Knicks. Reality TV hasn’t got anything on this dysfunctional and very disappointing franchise. Am so glad I am not a Knicks fan. And all my respect for Donnie Walsh and Mike D’Antoni went out the door after they pulled a Steph Marbury on Steph Marbury.
The Talk is Cheap Award
Lauren Jackson of the Opals. Before facing Team USA in the Gold Medal Match of Women’s Olympic Basketball, Jackson threw down the gauntlet about bodies falling on the floor and all out war. Instead, she fouled out albeit after scattering 20 points in a blowout win by the Americans. Then after nemesis Lisa Leslie wore all four of her gold medals (three were won against Australia) during the awards ceremony, Jackson cried foul and said Leslie was showing off.
The Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore Award
Shaquille O’Neal. What bigger turncoat is there than this seven-foot Jeckyl and Hyde? When he was with the Orlando Magic, he dissed Penny Hardaway and said he was the one who kept him from resigned with his first NBA team. While with the Los Angeles Lakers, he feuded with Kobe Bryant and also blamed him for the dissolution of the purple and gold dynasty. When he jumped shipped to Miami, he declared Pat Riley the greatest coach ever (more than Phil Jackson). But early this year, he heavily criticized the gelled one and left for Phoenix where everyone is waiting for him to talk smack behind Amare Stoudemire and Terry Porter’s back.
Certificate of Job Security
The Manager’s position at Real Madrid. Los Blancos won two titles in the last two years and each was with a different gaffer. Last year they won with Bernd Schuster and the previous campaign it was with Fabio Capello. And before that there was Carlos Quieroz, Guus Hiddink, and Jupp Heynckes who all spent a year of duty at the Bernabeu.
They should give the manager’s position to current team chairman Ramon Calderon so after the end of the campaign he can get fired too!
Strike Two Award
Before she retired from tennis the first time around, Martina Hingis was booed off the Roland Garros clay courts after playing long-time crowd favorite Steffi Graf. After a much-ballyhooed return to the game, the Swiss Miss’ career came to another shocking end after pre-tournament test showed marijuana in her urine. Now here’s hoping you learned from Michael Jordan’s third and last return to the game (we can forgive Brett Favre for now).
The Denial King Award
Franz Pumaren. He didn’t know anything about his two players who were casualties of the PEP Test Scandal and he denied that his team was never informed that it was their turn to accept their runners-up trophy.
For the past Brewskies winners, check out these links:
http://bleachersbrew.blogspot.com/2007/12/bleachers-brew-85-2nd-annual-brewskies.html
http://bleachersbrew.blogspot.com/2006/12/brewskies.html
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