ESPN the Magazine produces an annual issue that is dedicated to the sports fan that makes for an intriguing, fun, and insightful read. Here is my take on it.
You know you’re a sports fan when:
- on your wedding night your wife tells you to come to bed but you’re busy watching the New York Islanders play. Doesn’t that tell you that you’ve become a statistic that says men would rather watch a sporting event than have sex?
- you accept a job to hand out game programs just to get inside Flushing Meadows to watch the US Open.
- the temperature is below zero and the snow is thick and heavy and you walk two kilometers to buy the day’s issue of the New York Post that contains a coupon that you can redeem for a limited commemorative New York Yankees medallion.
- you know the words to “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” so that during your first trip to a ballpark you sing it with gusto and like a seasoned veteran.
- you conveniently and coincidentally hold meetings outside the office during days when there are UAAP basketball games.
- you save your vacation leaves for sporting events and when you run out of them, you get sick on days when your team is playing.
- as a kid you write a lengthy letter to Robert Jaworski that is encouraging and offers some plays that should help his team get back in the championship series. Then come Christmas Day, you receive not only got a signed Christmas card but also a Ginebra San Miguel jacket.
- you exchange your teddy bear for a football and cradle it to sleep.
- before a football match you get down on your knees to smell the earth and the grass.
- you hold up your sneakers and rub your sweaty palms on the sole because you saw Larry Bird do that.
- you cut out pictures of your favorite athletes in the library copy of Sports Illustrated and do not go back to the scene of the crime for two weeks because you feel guilty.
- it’s a late Sunday afternoon and your favorite football team is playing a match in San Beda in a league that most people have never heard of and the only people present are the girlfriends of the players.
- you’re still up in the stands watching a baseball game that has gone into extra innings and it’s close to midnight.
- you save up a week’s earnings to go to Mexico to watch luchadore wrestling.
- you get annoyed at someone who texts you asking how his alma mater fared in UAAP football competition yet you know he doesn’t give a crap about the beautiful game and so you don’t reply.
- you run out of your office to lead a cheer of “Let’s Go, Yankees” to counter a group of Boston Red Sox fans who made the trip to New York to cheer the negotiations for the services of Alex Rodriguez.
- you’re in your mid-30’s and you’re trying to master ice skating. You sign up to play in a beginner’s ice hockey league and the first time you enter the penalty box you go, “Wow! I’m like the Hanson Brothers.”
- the media pass issued to you is worth gold during the UAAP basketball and PBA season and you zealously guard it with your life.
- you make the pilgrimage to Cooperstown and Springfield by yourself and your mouth suffers from lockjaw because of your constant oohs and ahhs.
- you get up at one in the morning to watch the UEFA Champions League never mind if you’ve got deadlines to meet during the day and you’ll need all the sleep and rest to keep your mind fresh.
- your favorite clothes are football jerseys and sports jackets.
- some of your biggest fantasies are hitting a game winning shot, getting the prettiest girl on God’s green earth for your girlfriend, and riding off into the Hollywood sunset with a movie made about your life.
- your Yahoo Messenger status reflects your mood and the results of your teams’ fortunes.
- the first section you read in the newspaper is the sports section.
- you’re surly and have that don’t-piss-me-off look at work when your favorite team loses.
- as soon as you wake up you check out the latest sports news on espn.com and si.com.
- you plan to name your children after your sports idols and your wife rolls her eyes when you ask her what she thinks of “Michael Jordan” or “Jordan Michael.”
- at the office you crumple pieces of scratch paper and shoot them at the waste basket.
- you liberally quote lines from Jerry Maguire, Remember the Titans, and Coach Carter when giving motivational speeches.
- you include your favorite sports teams in your prayers.
- it’s your fervent desire to see your child play for the school varsity.
- you know what people mean when they say, “Win one for the Gipper!” and you can explain what an offside call is.
- you watch a UAAP basketball game live then rush home to watch the television replay.
- you refuse to wear clothes that are the color of your rival team.
- even after your body gives up on you play NBA Live or FIFA on your Xbox or Playstation.
- you do not ever ever call football “soccer” or you run the risk of being called a dweeb.
- you’re worse than a Monday morning quarterback and know you could coach your team to victory.
- you know sports trivia that you use to impress people from the opposite sex.
- you swear that nothing beats watching sporting events live as opposed to TV.
- you can rattle off shooting percentages, defensive schemes, and all sort of obscure stats but forget more mundane ones like birthdays or times of meetings.
- you come up with lists like these to show people what you know.
To all Bleachers Creatures:
If you would like to add your own to You Know You're A Sports Fan When..., please email, YM, send via facebook (Rick Olivares), or via smoke signal or carrier pigeon, please do so. We can do another column altogether that's just for fans.
This appears in the Monday, February 2, 2009 edition of the Business Mirror.
http://businessmirror.com.ph/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=5449:you-know-youre-a-sports-fan-when&catid=31:sports&Itemid=65
You know you’re a sports fan when:
- on your wedding night your wife tells you to come to bed but you’re busy watching the New York Islanders play. Doesn’t that tell you that you’ve become a statistic that says men would rather watch a sporting event than have sex?
- you accept a job to hand out game programs just to get inside Flushing Meadows to watch the US Open.
- the temperature is below zero and the snow is thick and heavy and you walk two kilometers to buy the day’s issue of the New York Post that contains a coupon that you can redeem for a limited commemorative New York Yankees medallion.
- you know the words to “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” so that during your first trip to a ballpark you sing it with gusto and like a seasoned veteran.
- you conveniently and coincidentally hold meetings outside the office during days when there are UAAP basketball games.
- you save your vacation leaves for sporting events and when you run out of them, you get sick on days when your team is playing.
- as a kid you write a lengthy letter to Robert Jaworski that is encouraging and offers some plays that should help his team get back in the championship series. Then come Christmas Day, you receive not only got a signed Christmas card but also a Ginebra San Miguel jacket.
- you exchange your teddy bear for a football and cradle it to sleep.
- before a football match you get down on your knees to smell the earth and the grass.
- you hold up your sneakers and rub your sweaty palms on the sole because you saw Larry Bird do that.
- you cut out pictures of your favorite athletes in the library copy of Sports Illustrated and do not go back to the scene of the crime for two weeks because you feel guilty.
- it’s a late Sunday afternoon and your favorite football team is playing a match in San Beda in a league that most people have never heard of and the only people present are the girlfriends of the players.
- you’re still up in the stands watching a baseball game that has gone into extra innings and it’s close to midnight.
- you save up a week’s earnings to go to Mexico to watch luchadore wrestling.
- you get annoyed at someone who texts you asking how his alma mater fared in UAAP football competition yet you know he doesn’t give a crap about the beautiful game and so you don’t reply.
- you run out of your office to lead a cheer of “Let’s Go, Yankees” to counter a group of Boston Red Sox fans who made the trip to New York to cheer the negotiations for the services of Alex Rodriguez.
- you’re in your mid-30’s and you’re trying to master ice skating. You sign up to play in a beginner’s ice hockey league and the first time you enter the penalty box you go, “Wow! I’m like the Hanson Brothers.”
- the media pass issued to you is worth gold during the UAAP basketball and PBA season and you zealously guard it with your life.
- you make the pilgrimage to Cooperstown and Springfield by yourself and your mouth suffers from lockjaw because of your constant oohs and ahhs.
- you get up at one in the morning to watch the UEFA Champions League never mind if you’ve got deadlines to meet during the day and you’ll need all the sleep and rest to keep your mind fresh.
- your favorite clothes are football jerseys and sports jackets.
- some of your biggest fantasies are hitting a game winning shot, getting the prettiest girl on God’s green earth for your girlfriend, and riding off into the Hollywood sunset with a movie made about your life.
- your Yahoo Messenger status reflects your mood and the results of your teams’ fortunes.
- the first section you read in the newspaper is the sports section.
- you’re surly and have that don’t-piss-me-off look at work when your favorite team loses.
- as soon as you wake up you check out the latest sports news on espn.com and si.com.
- you plan to name your children after your sports idols and your wife rolls her eyes when you ask her what she thinks of “Michael Jordan” or “Jordan Michael.”
- at the office you crumple pieces of scratch paper and shoot them at the waste basket.
- you liberally quote lines from Jerry Maguire, Remember the Titans, and Coach Carter when giving motivational speeches.
- you include your favorite sports teams in your prayers.
- it’s your fervent desire to see your child play for the school varsity.
- you know what people mean when they say, “Win one for the Gipper!” and you can explain what an offside call is.
- you watch a UAAP basketball game live then rush home to watch the television replay.
- you refuse to wear clothes that are the color of your rival team.
- even after your body gives up on you play NBA Live or FIFA on your Xbox or Playstation.
- you do not ever ever call football “soccer” or you run the risk of being called a dweeb.
- you’re worse than a Monday morning quarterback and know you could coach your team to victory.
- you know sports trivia that you use to impress people from the opposite sex.
- you swear that nothing beats watching sporting events live as opposed to TV.
- you can rattle off shooting percentages, defensive schemes, and all sort of obscure stats but forget more mundane ones like birthdays or times of meetings.
- you come up with lists like these to show people what you know.
To all Bleachers Creatures:
If you would like to add your own to You Know You're A Sports Fan When..., please email, YM, send via facebook (Rick Olivares), or via smoke signal or carrier pigeon, please do so. We can do another column altogether that's just for fans.
This appears in the Monday, February 2, 2009 edition of the Business Mirror.
http://businessmirror.com.ph/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=5449:you-know-youre-a-sports-fan-when&catid=31:sports&Itemid=65
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