Sunday, January 18, 2009

Bleachers' Brew #141 Can't Buy Me Love


Can’t Buy Me Love
(Or 108 million reasons to leave Milan)
by rick olivares

Someone should write an obituary in the Chicago Sun Times every single frigging year for everyone to remember the death anniversary of a great dynasty that got blown to the four winds before the end of its time.

The running of the Chicago Bulls was officially over when on January 13, 1999, the world’s greatest basketball player of all time hung up his kicks for all time as he bade goodbye a second time. I have officially retconned NBA history when I cast those two years with the Washington Wizards to a black hole so the marvelous ending in Utah remains intact.

Just as I was holding my own private memorial service, some people with Euros in their eyes detonated a nuke in Italy.

Last January 13, word filtered out that Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, better known to the world at large as Kaka, was going to leave AC Milan for Manchester City in the English Premier League.

The brilliant midfielder who after scoring a goal points to the heavens and pulls up his AC Milan jersey to reveal an under shirt with a now familiar message of “I belong to Jesus” is going to the team that once had Frank Sinatra as team owner. Oh, you mean that was Thaksin Shinawatra and not old Blue Eyes?

While recovering from a near career threatening injury in 2000, Kaka listed down ten things he hoped to accomplish in his football career. Within three years, he incredibly achieved every one of them and more.

The last personal goal he listed was to move from his Sao Paolo team to a club in either Spain or Italy. “Every good footballer dreams of playing in Europe,” said the midfielder during the press conference in 2007 when he was announced as the FIFA Footballer of the Year.

For a transfer fee of £five million -- an amount that club owner (and former Italian Prime Minister and Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi described as “peanuts” because he knew his team pilfered a great great player -- he got his wish and joined AC Milan. Since then, he was a part of a World Cup winning side (2002), the Italian Scudetto (2004), and the UEFA Champions League (2007).

When Andriy Shevchenko moved to Chelsea, Kaka was moved up front to occasional striker where he blossomed as a scorer. People then asked, “Is there anything he could not do?”

The media asked Michael Jordan upon retirement if he was going to help solve the world’s problems. It’s preposterous when you think about it but yet, yes, you wonder if people like His Airness and Kaka can do so while being less preachy and sanctimonious than Bono. But of a more earthly and fan boy dream, Kaka added another goal – to captain the Rossoneri when Paolo Maldini hangs up his spikes.

Now it looks like the Brazilian will never get the opportunity to wear the captain’s armband as he will be trading the red and black of Milan for the sky blue of Manchester City.

The new and filthy rich owners of the Citizens, as Manchester City’s team is nicknamed, the Abu Dhabi United Group Investment and Development Limited, broke the bank when they announced that they were offering AC Milan an eye-popping record transfer fee of about £108 million to acquire the services of Kaka. The amount is more than double the previous rate that Real Madrid paid to obtain Zinedine Zidane from Juventus.

Under the deal, Kaka will be paid over £25 million per season for 7 years! That’s a freaking £500 thousand (or $735,550) per week! The footballer who proclaimed to the world that he belongs to Jesus now has more money than God. Oh, sorry. I just heard on CNN that Man City’s financiers have an estimated worth of $20 billion.

When I heard about the offer and Milan’s interest in it (after all, £108 million sure is a lot of money), I couldn’t help but think of the obscene amounts especially in this time of crisis. For the first time, I joined those countless others who tally Manny Pacquiao’s prize earnings then who try to judge him on how he spends his fortune.

In two weeks’ time, Kaka could purchase a Bugatti Veyron the world’s most expensive car (price tag $1,192,057). If he can’t wait, then after one match, he can purchase a Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren for £310,400. He can buy a car every week and still afford to thoroughly travel one European country in style every month! Somewhere, Robin Leach must be choking on his caviar.

But should Kaka move to Manchester City, that is the question? Is it career suicide? What history do they have as opposed to taking to the San Siro pitch every other week? He’s going from the most decorated European club to one that is struggling just to stay above relegation. He’s the fourth Milan player to win FIFA’s player of the Year Award (after Marco Van Basten, George Weah, and Shevchenko). If that doesn’t spell footballing royalty then I don’t know what is?

Sure the Citizens are dead set on competing as they now have Robinho and are said to be luring away Juventus goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon away from Juventus. Before anyone says that’s like David Beckham moving to the Los Angeles Galaxy know that Arsenal’s Kolo Toure and Chelsea’s Ashley Cole and Wayne Bridge are also prime targets.

Rossoneri coach Carlo Ancelotti once said that Kaka was like a son. Well, dad. I didn’t know it was possible to “divorce” a child. In Milan’s case, who said that the best things in life are free? All that moolah can buy them a slew of young and up-and-coming Brazilians. Besides they already have Alexandre Pato, the next star of Brazil in red and black.

Why in the blue hell am I lamenting over a guy who does not even play for my favorite Italian team Juventus? If Kaka were headed for Liverpool, I’d be doing cartwheels. If anything, I should be upset that that buffoon Buffon is deigning to even go to Man City!

And it’s not like Kaka will starve in Italy! So is it now about the money? Look at it this way -- the next ten generations of Kaka's family should live a life of ease, comfort, and caviar dreams unless they spend money like it's going out of style. Can you blame him? And what if he moves and begins a tradition of excellence in Manchester City so that they'll no longer be known as "The Other Team (I refuse to mention the more popular one)."

We’ll be waiting for the obituaries to come out in Milan (remember January 13 the day it all started) but in the meantime, we leave the Brazilian to stew on the words of those poets from the Merseyside:

Can't buy me love, love
Can't buy me love

I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright
I'll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright
'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too
I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love

Can't buy me love, everybody tells me so
Can't buy me love, no no no, no

Say you don't need no diamond ring and I'll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of thing that money just can't buy
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love.



Kaka bids farewell to San Siro?

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